Does this Snuggie come in plaid ?

We’ve arrived folks, it’s fall y’all ! The time of year where open toed shoes go back to hell where they belong and feet are no longer on display. When the male tank top lives only in the gym and a full crop of strangers armpit hair is no longer a part of my commute. Ah yes, the changing of the seasons is upon us.

Baggy sweaters, flannels, and oversized hoodies have replaced the half shirts and spaghetti strap tops that crowd the racks at stores I’m probably too old to be shopping in anyway, and I no longer have to search for mid length shorts that clearly don’t exist.

I recall a few years back dragging Jeff into Target or Walmart searching for shorts to be worn as beach cover ups. Each pair I found was tinier than the next. In a hanger inspired rage, I lifted a particularly offensive pair above my head and yelled “whose ass can fit into these?? Ha??? Whose ass????!!!” Perhaps not my finest moment, and maybe not the greatest memory Jeff has of a summer day spent with me, but I digress. The point is, the season of covering up is here, and I am basking in all of its magnificent glory.

Many people scoff at the basic-ness of folks who love fall for the pumpkin themed food. I for one am a huge pumpkin fan, and not because it’s trendy, because it’s fucking delicious. Have you had pumpkin cupcakes with cinnamon & maple infused vanilla frosting??? Well you should. Fall is the time of year where treatin’ yo self is mandatory. Ginger bread lattes? Apple muffins? Kylie Jenner’s full line of lip glosses and eyeshadows? Don’t mind if I do.

And finally, the movies. How many times will I watch The Lost Boys this month? Will I follow it up with The Craft? Oh I will! Perhaps it’s only 8:00 a.m. on a Sunday, too early? Well then let’s watch Practical Magic whilst eating muffins and drinking tea. Is it getting a little chilly on that couch? Not under this Snuggie, it’s a toasty 75 degrees under here thank you very much.

Bring on Halloween! I love handing out candy to trick or treaters. Their costumes are the best, and I don’t even mind if 16 or 17 year olds come to the door, I’ll happily hand over a pile of candy to you, you hang on to your innocence! I mean, I’m not giving you the Reese’s or the Milky Ways but have at these Whoppers and Smarties bro.